The End Of My Counselling Journey… For Now

The End Of My Counselling Journey… For Now

Monday was my last counselling session. The reason the title says “for now” is I wouldn’t be against going back again, should I need to.

Over the course of 6 months, I had 20 sessions. Some were easier than others. Sometimes, I would dread my appointment. Other times, I would look forward to it.

Week in, week out, I would turn up and say, “nothing much has happened this week”, before opening up and realising… a lot had happened. Either growth or setbacks. Being given the opportunity to really reflect on the week helped me to highlight things I’d ignored.

These chats lasted around 20 out of the 50 minutes, and the next 30 minutes would be spent delving into deeper issues. We discussed a variety of things – from being bullied when I was younger to my current travelling anxiety. Surprising topics popped up once in a while, and I was forced to face the reality of how much events from the past still burdened me. I explored parts of my mind which had been left untouched for a long time.

Now that it’s over, I feel sad, and strange. I feel sad because I really liked my counsellor, so it feels like losing a friend. I feel strange because it became a staple in my routine. It was an excuse to take a break, get out of the flat and just talk. Knowing I don’t have that anymore knocks me off balance slightly.

I knew this time had to come, though. It was never going to last forever, and this is a natural part of the process. The timing was right. Still, I think it’s going to take a little while to adjust.

Counselling was good for me in a lot of ways. I’ve made no secret of how beneficial it’s been in my journey. It wasn’t a magical fix for all my problems, and there are still things I need to work on. They are part of a much longer process. Expecting 20 counselling sessions to sort 27 years of stuff would be a tall ask!

At the time, though, I just needed a reminder that how I was feeling was nothing to be ashamed of, and that I was in control. I could choose to let go of the past or continue letting them drag me down. It’s not that straightforward, of course, but in some ways, it was.

I was filling my time fixating on things I shouldn’t be. I needed to refocus my attention to what I had, rather than what I lacked. Instead of obsessing over all the negative things people have said to and about me, I needed to start paying attention to the good stuff, too.

As a result of counselling, I now have a happy things book, which I’ve mentioned before. It has had such a positive impact on my outlook. Every night, I write down good things about the day. I’m not going to lie – some days, I have to search much harder than others. However, I almost always find something. Going for a walk with Neal. Hearing a song I really liked. Having waffles. All sorts of things end up in there. Sometimes, it gets repetitive, but that’s okay. It means I go to sleep happy, rather than worrying about 101 things.

Counselling has given me a better understanding of not only myself, but others, too. It has strengthened my relationships. That’s a wonderful thing to have as I move forward.

My counsellor has made it very clear to me that I can sign up again if I need help. Be that as it may, I feel it’s time to test the waters and see how I fair without it. I feel stronger than I did, and better equipped to deal with a lot of things. I am more comfortable discussing how I feel with people in my life, and realise I don’t have to let toxic thoughts stew in my mind.

Counselling has done as much it can right now, I think. It helped me out of the darkness when I needed that the most. I know I have as much right to the help as anybody else does, but I’d hate to think of getting in the way of somebody else who may feel as hopeless as I did 6 months ago. It’s time to let somebody else have the experience and, hopefully, benefit from it as much as I have.

The End Of My Counselling Journey

6 Months Of Counselling
How I Feel At The End Of My Counselling Journey
Was Counselling Worth It

I’ve written about the journey overall for The Counsellor’s Café if you would like to have a read.

19 Comments

  1. 14th November 2018 / 4:42 pm

    I love this so much. I’m so glad you had such a positive experience with counselling, and it’s incredible to see how far you’ve come. Onwards and upwards!

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      15th November 2018 / 5:55 am

      Thank you so much 🙂

  2. Lelo stone
    14th November 2018 / 6:27 pm

    Counsellors are amazing it’s a shame more people don’t use them ❤️ Nice to hear about your experience great blog 👍🏻

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      15th November 2018 / 5:56 am

      It is, but I suppose it’s difficult to access them with such long waiting lists 🙁

  3. 14th November 2018 / 7:36 pm

    This was such a sweet post, Ruth. Thank you for sharing it because a ‘happy things book’ is something that everyone should keep. After all, gratitude helps us see things more clearly. I wish you all the best for your post counselling time. Sending love, positive energy, and prayers your way.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      15th November 2018 / 5:56 am

      Thank you, Masooma. It’s very true, it’s a simple thing but it makes a big difference!

  4. 15th November 2018 / 12:31 pm

    So bloody proud of you, and so thankful that counselling helped you and came into your life when it did – and so awed at the way you’re using your experiences to help other people. You’re a truly incredible person, and to have come this far in just 6 months is incredible. Long may the good times last!

    Cordelia || cordeliamoor.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      20th November 2018 / 6:36 am

      Thank you so much, as always, Cordelia! You are just so wonderful. 💛

  5. 16th November 2018 / 3:27 am

    What an accomplishment! I also love the idea of a happy things book. Sounds like a practice I need to start. Wishing you continued positive progress on your journey.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      20th November 2018 / 6:38 am

      It’s a wonderful habit to track all the good bits! Thank you for your well wishes.

  6. 17th November 2018 / 1:44 pm

    Such a fantastic achievement, well done for seeing it through – I can’t imagine it has been easy for you. I love the idea of a ‘Happy Things’ book. I used to do a series on my blog called ‘H is for Happy’ and I would share all of the things in the month that made me smile. I may have to start that up again xx

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      20th November 2018 / 6:55 am

      Thank you! That sounds like a lovely series – it would be awesome to start it up again.

  7. 24th November 2018 / 10:44 am

    I’m so glad to hear you had a positive experience with counselling. I did a course of CBT which I you d very beneficial but slipped back into some old habits once it ended. I use skin picking and bite the inside of my cheek when my anxiety hits to relieve tension! It would be better if they helped you cope on your own after the therapy ends. Talking (not through counselling but through services like The Samaritans) has been greatly beneficial to me.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      27th November 2018 / 3:13 pm

      I agree, there is definitely not enough support following the course of treatment. This wasn’t such a big thing for me, because I’d reached the stage of feeling ready to move on, but for others who simply haven’t been able to extend their sessions, it must be very hard.

  8. 27th November 2018 / 2:31 pm

    I’m so glad that counselling was such a positive experience for you Ruth. I was reading this post the other day and decided to start my own ‘happy things book’ – it is such a nice way to reflect on the positive stuff before going to sleep. I have just started going to counselling myself and posts like this are really comforting and reassuring to know I am doing the right thing. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I hope things keep on getting better and better for you <3 xxx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      27th November 2018 / 3:32 pm

      Thank you so much, Bexa. I’m glad you’ve started your own happy things book! I found the nights were worst for my thoughts getting away from me, so it helps to redirect the attention. Best of luck with your counselling journey – feel free to pop me a message anytime if you have any questions or just want to talk about it in general! xx

  9. 6th December 2018 / 7:18 pm

    I recently finished my CBT sessions so I know what you mean when you feel slightly sad. It has become a regular part of my life and not having the support of that person for you is hard to get used too. It’s great to read how far you have come and how it has benefited you! Such an open and honest post! Thank you for sharing Ruth! ❤️

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      7th December 2018 / 12:23 pm

      It’s nice to know you understand. It’s a hard thing to explain to others who haven’t experienced it. Thank you, lovely!

      • 9th December 2018 / 4:01 pm

        Yeah it really is! Thank you for sharing your experience hun ❤️

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