The Pressures Of The New Year

The Pressures Of The New Year

The pressures of the New Year are something I’ve felt quite intensely this year. I don’t tend to make resolutions, January 1st is just another day but in a new year, and I’m happy to plod on as normal. So, why is this year different?

This is the first New Year when I’ve been a blogger.

I’ve been trying to figure out the direction I want to go, and what I’d like to achieve in 2019. I haven’t really gotten anywhere with this as of yet. I can’t seem to get my head straight for long enough to figure it out.

In the past couple of days, I’ve identified why this is. There are actually two reasons.

Number one is that I achieved far more in 2018 than I planned for. It’s left me a bit stumped about what I want to do this year. That’s a wonderful thing to be able to say, though!

The second reason is not so great and that’s that, despite surprising myself in 2018, I’m still lacking in the self belief department. If a goal pops into my head, I’ll immediately respond with a reason why I should scrap it.

So, the first thing I need to tackle is getting out of my own way, which I knew long before we were counting down to 2019.

Everyone is talking goals (which I love, for the record).

My social media feeds are full of it. My inbox has exploded with things along the lines of “how I’m making 2019 my best year yet!” Even though I love seeing the ambition and drive in everyone, it’s a new experience. I haven’t necessarily found myself in a situation quite like it before. I’ve had light-hearted discussions about resolutions with family and friends, but that’s about it.

In the week between Christmas and New Year, I lost count of how many times I was asked about my goals. It’s a natural conversation to occur at that time of year, but I found myself panicking about the fact I hadn’t made any.

I thought reading everyone’s goals would get me fired up, and help me to discover my own. It seemed to have the opposite effect. I froze up, and thought “I really don’t have a clue.” This caused a bit of a wobble, and a panic about my lack of ambition, even though that’s not entirely true.

Now that it’s all a little less intense, I’ve had the welcome realisation that my ambitions simply aren’t quite as straightforward to measure, which is perfectly alright.

I turned 28.

I’m still not used to saying that.

My birthday is right at the start of January. It got me thinking, once again, about approaching 30. It raised a lot of questions about where I’m at, and where I want to be. I read my previous post on the subject to try and reassure myself that things will happen as they’re supposed to – even if it’s not in the way I pictured it. It was comforting to a degree.

The combination of the New Year and my birthday means there’s a lot of reflection, and contemplating the future. Yet, no answers.

I realise a lot of the pressures come from within myself. That’s something I’ve always been guilty of. I pile it on, until I feel like my head is about to explode. I’ve made some progress with it, but if this New Year has shown me anything, it’s that I’m still doing it.

I guess I wanted to write this to say it’s okay if you haven’t got a long list of goals, or any sort of plan for 2019. Maybe your plan is to dive in and see what happens. That’s cool. Even if you’re a blogger. Maybe you need more time to figure it out, and come June, you’ll know how to ace the last half of the year.

Equally, if you’ve made goals, I hope you achieve them, but please don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t. If you’ve failed your New Year’s resolutions already by this point, it’s not a big deal. There are still over 300 days of the year, and you can make changes on any one of them.

This is a note to myself, and all of you, to say January 1st is just like any other day, and guess what? You can set goals any day of the year! Don’t let the pressures of the New Year overwhelm you.

The Pressures Of The New Year

New Year No Goals
Struggling With The Pressures Of A New Year
Feeling Overwhelmed By New Year

26 Comments

  1. 7th January 2019 / 11:04 am

    I’ve deliberately not really set myself any tangible goals this year because I don’t want the feeling of being tied to these things I’m making myself do, and would rather let the year take me as it will, and if things happen they happen and if they don’t – no biggie. I have, however, set ‘promises’ to myself: things like more fresh air, spending more time with friends, more time laughing, more green things and less beige things – that kind of thing. 2019 is about being kinder to me, and not trying to kill myself to reach a goal.

    Cordelia || cordeliamoor.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:36 pm

      Oooh, I love that idea! I might have to come up with my own list of promises for the year. That’s a much better approach.

  2. 7th January 2019 / 11:16 am

    This time last year I set myself some New Year Aspirations (not goals, not semantics) because I didn’t want to feel like a failure when I didn’t achieve them. I didn’t do too badly but I’m not setting any targets this year, I just want to go with the flow and not be so hard on myself. I had a little break from blogging and work over Christmas and New Year and it was the best thing I did. Spending time with Alan and Flora did more for me than anything else and now I feel refreshed and recharged. Thank you for the reminder that what works for others won’t necessarily work for us. And that the only one putting pressure on ourselves is usually us! xx

    Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:40 pm

      That’s a concern for me, too, that if I wrote anything down and actively tried to accomplish it, then I would feel like a failure if I didn’t make it happen. Going with the flow and seeing what can be achieved along the way seems like a great approach! I’m so delighted to know your break has done you good, and I’m happy to have you back. 🙂

  3. 7th January 2019 / 11:47 am

    Hi Ruth

    It is easy to say this but… don’t panic.
    I may have set myself some kind of tangible goals but they are for me.
    But I get it… a few months ago I panicked about not having my blog monetized and stuff but then I was like: “that’s how THEY do it, which is good. This is how I do it, which is good for ME”

    Always listen to yourself like you do know. It takes more courage and strength to do that than following the flock (hope that was correctly spelled).

    All the best

    Linda
    Xx

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:41 pm

      Thank you, Linda – you’re absolutely right! 🙂

  4. 7th January 2019 / 12:51 pm

    Ruth you have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. I think you’re doing great! I can relate to how you feel. I had a decent amount of success last year so I am really trying to soul search and figure out how I can be even better. I’d say relax and enjoy the ride. When it’s time to pick it up and be inspired, you will know it. I came into this year with very few goals or plans and that’s ok. The transition to a new year doesn’t mean we all have to have a plan ready to go. It will happen when it is time to happen!

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:42 pm

      I completely agree, Marc! I think a lot of people expect the New Year to bring a new wave of motivation, but it’s not always the case. It doesn’t mean it will never come, though. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  5. 7th January 2019 / 2:03 pm

    As always, a great post. Open and honest. The only thing I will say, is your year, your way. Last year was such a whirlwind for me, setting up my business, building a website, making stock to sell. It was all fab but I actually want to take a step back now, take a breath and just enjoy the creating side. Just enjoy.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:43 pm

      I’m not surprised you want to take a step back and enjoy creating – it sounds like a lot happened last year (which is awesome!) You deserve the breather.

  6. 7th January 2019 / 3:17 pm

    This is such a refreshing post to read especially at this time of year when all we read about is goals, resolutions, new year new me stuff. I haven’t made any goals or plans either, I kinda enjoy the surprise and to see what happens. I normally have an idea what I want to achieve each day and a flexible plan for the week, but anything beyond that is a mystery but that is how I like it, he he. I am sure 2019 will be another hugely successful year for you and your blog, I can’t wait to read more your awesome posts! Happy new year Ruth!! <3 xxx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:44 pm

      Awww, thank you, Bexa! Happy New Year to you, too! I’m the same way as you. I plan my days and my weeks and occasionally note down things during the month (e.g. notable occasions) but the entire year? That’s too tall an order! 😉

  7. 7th January 2019 / 9:18 pm

    Too true, Ruth. I’ve felt like the new year pressure is raised this year as well. Setting goals is intimidating, maybe even more so when we have everyone else’s goals out in the open. I’m sure you’ll be accomplishing a lot in 2019, no matter when you set your goals!

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:45 pm

      Exactly. I think it’s that access to everyone else’s goals which has caused me to feel a bit overwhelmed and lost, no matter how much I enjoy reading them and rooting for them. Thank you, Fiona! 🙂

  8. 7th January 2019 / 9:24 pm

    This was so relatable! I’m turning 30 at the end of this year, and the whole “where should I be at this point in my life” question is regularly on my mind. However, I’m trying to set myself little goals and not worry too much about the rest of it, as life will often take us in a completely different direction anyway! Good luck for the new year – you’re gonna smash it, whatever you do.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:46 pm

      Thank you! It’s so true, though – no matter what we plan, life seems to be like “haha, nope” and zooms off another way. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way. Any big goals I’ve made never really turned out the way I thought, so I think I’ll stick to little ones I know I can achieve 😉

  9. 8th January 2019 / 4:40 pm

    Hi Ruth, congratulations on achieving more than you expected in 2018 – that is wonderful and well-deserved. Though it may be an unpopular opinion, I won’t set goals for 2019 and haven’t set goals like this in a very long time.
    I’ve found it’s more helpful to me to set an intention for a day, or week, or a month. These are more about the way I want to live my life than things I want to achieve. I suppose it’s not very disciplined but it does help me stay in the moment more to ask – is what I’m about to do supporting my intention for the life I want to lead? My intention right now is to be as compassionate as I can be.
    Here’s to a healthy, happy, loving 2019.
    Joan Senio
    My Best Friend Adeline
    https://kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:47 pm

      That’s a great approach, Joan! Thank you for sharing, and thank you for stopping by! 🙂 Wishing you all the best for 2019.

  10. 8th January 2019 / 5:46 pm

    You have done some excellent work last year, so your blog kind of became a reference point for a lot of us who started right after you. Your posts are always so free flowing. It’s wonderful to read such amazing content. I understand the pressure you are talking about. But it’s okay to not know what you want sometimes. I feel like it’s our mind just letting go off some stress in order to reset. Take care.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:48 pm

      Thank you for such a lovely comment! Although I forget it at times, I do agree that it’s good to have short phases when you’re not sure what you want and can relax a little because you’re not pursuing anything. Thanks for the reminder!

  11. 8th January 2019 / 8:25 pm

    Resolutions are kind of moving targets – they can change all the time and that’s ok. That makes the whole year full of small achievable goals instead of big ominous resolutions. I’m also type A though so I like checking boxes. 😂

    Congratulations on exceeding expectations in 2018! Try not to worry about 30. Finish enjoying your 20’s of course but the 30’s are a great decade too!

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:49 pm

      Thank you, Emma! I’m with you on checking boxes – it’s much more satisfying! I think I have a weird fear of feeling lost turning into feeling stuck and then feeling like a failure. I think I just need to have fun and see what happens as I go.

      • 10th January 2019 / 4:54 am

        I think that’s totally normal! I feel like social media feeds into it and makes it seem like everyone else has their ‘stuff’ together and are headed in some purposeful direction but I’m pretty sure most of us are just winging it. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 🙂

  12. Fairy Kissed Daisy
    9th January 2019 / 6:41 am

    I know its not a big difference but I think setting goals is better than resolutiond. Goals are something you can chip away and approach over time maybe even changing them a little with circumstance where as I think resolutions tend to be specific and to be started straight away which means if you have a hiccup a few days in you can end up feeling defeated.

    I get the self doubt talk because I did it when I was coming up with mine. What if they’re too easy, what if they’re too hard. I found it a good practice to write them down in the back of my diary, it shut the self doubt talk up a little because they weren’t just thoughts in my head they were on a page. I’d say keep them vague enough that you don’t feel overwhelmed, throw a few fun ones in there and dont time limit them. For me I work slower towars a goal when its time limited because it feels like something I have to do, like a chore.

    • ruthinrevolt
      Author
      9th January 2019 / 1:59 pm

      I love your approach! I really don’t know why anyone still bothers with “resolutions” rather than goals because they do seem to be something people take seriously if they don’t keep it up for more than a week. Whereas goals, you can have setbacks, but continue working towards it, without the same sense of failure.

      That’s exactly my thought process, too, so it’s nice to know someone understands. I’ll need to try writing them down! I think I’m going to try working backwards, so ask myself where I’d want to be a year from now, then figure out the steps I’d need to take to get there.

  13. 14th January 2019 / 1:16 am

    I wrote a post pretty similar to this one. My anxieties were really high, and I just knew I couldn’t face a *whole* year. It was way too daunting, especially when the past few have gone so horribly wrong in some way or another. So I’ve decided to just do monthly goals. One month, one major focus to work on. And so far, it’s helping to keep the overwhelm at Bay most of the time!

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